The other night my husband and I had a serious discussion about him going back to work. To catch you all up to speed, I took the first 6 months of parental leave, and he is currently taking the second half of parental leave, which will finish at the end of the month.
In my opinion, you can look at your career using the following grid:
||Might be worth the sacrifice, look at budget
|If financially feasible, go for it!
||BAD BAD BAD!!!
I am extremely fortunate in that I have a wonderful job that I enjoy, and the pay is good. My husband on the other hand, has been finding himself in the bottom right hand corner. So when I was pregnant and we talked about potentially splitting up the parental leave (from personal experience I see that the vast majority of mothers take the entire year while fathers take very little to no parental leave) I made a deal that he would stick out his job until it was his turn to be off with the baby, then he would use those 6 months to seek out a new career. In fact, I believe I bought him a new vehicle as part of this deal (rolls eyes). Of course now his time is almost up with not much headway so we juggled the idea of him just staying off longer.
- he can bring the baby to visit me at work
- he can do more chores/cleaning while I work so there is less housework for me to do when I get home or on days off (hmmmm.. we will have to work on this one)
- do not have to pay for daycare (this would eat up roughly half his income if he went back to his job)
- less $$$
- potential resentment? I know sometimes I get really frustrated when I have a weekend off and I spend most of it doing chores/errands, it can also be frustrating when I get home from work and have the baby from the moment I walk in the door until I put her down to bed then pass out from exhaustion, only to do it all again the next morning
We may have to set some ground rules if this is going to become the new way of life……
During the first 6 months JB was extremely “needy” (as most newborns are), and so much of my time was spent feeding her, snuggling her, etc. and I did not get as much done around the house as I would have liked. Looking at her now, she will sit on the floor and play with her toys while I vacuum around her, or she will sit and “help” me fold laundry, so it is much easier to be productive. I am hoping that as she starts to gain more independence, and is ok playing with some toys while having mommy/daddy in close proximity, more can get done around the house. We shall see how this goes!
And in true workin’ mom fashion, I am only just now getting to my first official blog post. While I was off on maternity leave, I bought a used Cricut machine + some cartridges and scrapbooking material and started becoming “crafty”. In the spring of 2016 I purchased my absolute dream home, which has everything I have always wanted in a home, including my own “office” (read: extra bedroom I transformed into Diana’s space). My husband declared our large 2-car garage as his shop, so it only seemed fair to have a space to call my own. Unfortunately, I became pregnant just weeks after we acquired our house, and was so sick throughout the entire pregnancy it was hard to enjoy and customize the house. We have done many renovations since Jilly was born, since I have been feeling infinitely better and had a lot more free time 🙂
I have used my cricut to make custom shirts, vinyl labels, scrapbook lettering and images, and paper signs and I sort of became obsessed. With an online black Friday sale, I upgraded my Cricut to one that is 5 models newer so now I am having even more fun. It is nice because I have been attending tons of baby showers lately and customized onesies are fun to make!! They also seem like a more personal gift and can deliver a good bang for your buck (see future blog posts on my thriftiness). Sometimes I feel overwhelmed when I see other moms posting their “pinterest-perfect” lives on Facebook, and guilty that I do not chronicle Jilly’s life as well, I have very few newborn pictures of her (was too concerned about her surviving), and I have yet to get any professional photos of her done (I really don’t think I ever will), I have not started planning her 1st birthday but I can guarantee it won’t have a cute theme with matching decorations/balloons/paper plates/professionally done cake, and I have not chronicled her life as some people have. Her baby book is really nowhere near up to date and I have yet to start her scrapbook, and I feel guilty every morning when I leave for work. But when I come home and announce “mommy’s home!” and see that bit toothless grin and hear her babble in excitement, my heart melts and I know I am doing the best I can, and hopefully she will one day look up to me, seeing that I managed a career and a family, with neither of them taking a backseat to the other.
Well this post went off on a tangent.. maybe I will post about my crafting on another blog some day.. when I finally get around to it!!
Ok here we go. I have been meaning to start this blog for a while now, and with less than 2 weeks until I go back to work, I am trying to do the final things on my to-do list.
In this blog I would like to discuss some of my personal experiences with marriage/pregnancy/parenting/juggling it all. It is frightening to open yourself up and let people know intimate details of your life, especially given that I am quite shy, but I will give it a shot.
I am writing this currently with my wiggly 24-week old on my lap (note to self: do 24-week photoshoot today), I literally just got interrupted because my dog was barking like mad indicating my Amazon delivery must have just been dropped off.
Yesterday was my husband and I’s 2nd anniversary. We didn’t celebrate last year because I was too busy throwing up (more on that later) so we definitely wanted to celebrate this year. Last month, when my brother was dropping off his 1.5 year old to stay with me for a week, he said he owed us, to which I secured him for babysitting so we could celebrate. Of course hours before date time I find out his oldest has strep throat and I don’t particularly want my daughter catching that, so a desperate call to Grandma is made. Date night gets changed from “Dinner and a Movie” to just “Dinner”. At least we will finally use that gift certificate we got as a wedding gift 2 years ago!
That was the first time my husband and I were able to get out just the two of us since Jillian was born. We definitely have to work on that! I quite enjoyed being able to have quiet time together, and we had fun chatting about everything in our life we had accomplished so far, and future goals. Overall I am very pleased with how life is going 🙂
So, topics I hope to write about in the near future (I am making a list here so I don’t forget it)
- long-distance relationships
- wedding planning
- HG (aka puking 24/7 for 9 straight months)
- balancing work and family (when I go back to work)
- stay at home parenting
- home buying
- feeling behind friends
- managing stress and anxiety
- my musical career
- my new found addiction with Cricut
- my thoughts on what makes a good relationship
- financials (and the difference between being cheap and being frugal)
- more to come!!